| Location | Hampshire |
| Age | 21 years |
| Cause of Death | Suicide |
| Date of Birth | 10/05/1978 |
| Date of Death | 18/04/2000 |
| Visitors | 4,900 since 06/08/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
Paul Michael Cowell , My lovely son took his own
life on 18th April 2000 ,22 days before his 22nd birthday after battling a drug problem. He had not
taken any for 6 months before he died but stopping left him with depressions and it was as he
appeared to be coming out of one of these that he took his life on prescription drugs. Paul wasn't a
lad That hung around in groups indeed he was small and looked younger than he was. We moved next
door to a couple with a son and daughter when paul was 8 years old . Paul knew their son since
playschool and he was only 4 months older than paul. They were friends but not best friends. When
they left school there was a leavers party but paul did not go because he was working in a hotel as
he wanted to eventually become a chef. The lad next door was killed that night chased onto a
railway and killed by a train he was only 16. I could not imagine the suffering so I used to go
round and clean there home, shop for them and cut their grass. I also just used to sit with his
mother while she cried. Paul was a sensitive soul and he had never been this close to a terrible
death of one so young and used to go round to see them too. He then began to change and eventually
i found out that the drugs were causing his behaviour and used to tell next door about it . They
just said it was attention seeking but he was so ill . A lot of the young friends used to go next
door and was encouraged by his parents. For 5 years We watched him go down to the depths of
despair and i used to talk to next door about him being so ill then one day paul actually asked me
for help after so long of being turned away from help because it was me that wanted help for him
not him. One day while next door paul came round and later as we left i noticed the mother slip
something in his hand and when we got outside i asked paul to show me what it was and he opened his
hand and laying in his palm were drugs. it was them all the time. they are convicted drug dealers
and No one had ever told me . But I learned this too late to save my son. We miss him , we miss his
lovely sunny smile and his caring ways . David his younger brother was only 15 at the time now has a
beautiful 3 year old daughter Emily who Paul would have loved and been so proud of. David has
struggled so hard with this loss as we all have including his Nan and Grandad who loved him so also
. Paul worked at a fruit farm right up until his death after leaving the catering business .
Sometimes Paul would miss the transport to take him to work and he would walk the 6 miles to get
there , sometimes his suffering was too much and he did not make it that day . His boss was
brilliant and understanding and also in our hearts we knew the drugs has caused so much damage .
paul really tried to make a fresh start . He is with his Great Nan who passed away 19 months before
Paul aged 85 years . She was so understanding about this problem and showed so much love and care
towards him I like to think that they are caring for each other whilst waiting for us. God bless Nan
and thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxx
REFLECTION
Another day for you to wonder,another day for you to mourn
It wasn't my intention to go before the coming dawn
My pain was deep within my heart and troubled head
It wasn't my intention to go without words said.
My frame of mind seemed normal, or so I heard them say
It wasn't my intention not to see another day
I did not mean to make you suffer or cause you so much pain
It wasn't my intention to never see you again.
Despair and confusion left my aching mind unsure
It wasn't my intention to suddenly close life's door
If only I could give you reasons and brush the tears away
It wasn't my intention to leave you and not stay.
I did not mean for you to grieve, now left alone to cry
It wasn't my intention to leave you, forever asking why ?
As the burdens of life's worries slowly ebb from my heart
It wasn't my intention to tear your soul apart.
Y Docherty
***PLEASE READ***
LIN SENDS EVERYONE HER APOLOGIES BUT RIGHT NOW SHE IS HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME.
YOU ARE ALL IN HER THOUGHTS AND SHE WILL BE BACK VERY SOON. THANK YOU. ****
For Lin xxx
You are my Friend... And I hope You know that’s true... No matter what happens... I will stand by You... I will be there for You... Whenever You need me... To lend a hand... To do a good deed... So call on me... Whenever You need me... I will always be there... Even to the bitter end...
Send this promise to all Your Friends to show Your Friendship and see who sends it back to You.
One may go and the rest be left
The lonely road to tread
But one day we all must face
The path that lies ahead
Knowing that the best is over
With a loved one gone
Sometimes there seems no point
In trying to carry on
But time is kind and the passing years
Does their balm of healing bring
And like a bird at winter's end
Our hearts begin again to sing
Because we come at last to realize
Death cannot break the tie
Our bond will survive forever
FOR LOVE ITSELF CAN NEVER DIE
Love and God Bless
♥ To lose someone you love is hard to bear
To lose your child is beyond compare
Whether the child is a daughter or son
Each one of them is a precious one ♥
♥ Your children can never be replaced
Every one of them has their own special place
Your heart is heavy it feels like lead
You don’t want to believe your child is dead ♥
♥ You don’t think the pain will ever go away
No matter what other people may say
No one knows just what to say to you
You need their help to see you through ♥
♥ Life it seems so unfair
You wish your child could still be there
Your memories fill your heart and head
You remember all the things they said ♥
♥ Life is for living and you must go on
You pretend each day they have not gone
Until you meet them once again
You will learn to live through this terrible pain
FROM ONE MUM TO ANOTHER XXXX
THANK YOU FOR YOUR SUPPORT XXXXXX
For a special Angel.
════╔══╗Gone But
════║══║Not Forgotten
═╔══╝══╚══╗♥ ♰ ♥ ♰
═║════════║
═╚══╗══╔══╝
════║══║Put This On Your
════║══║Page If You Know
════║══║Someone Who Is In
════║══║Heaven's Garden.x
Sending All My Love Always X x X
+ . . * + . + * . * + + . . * + . + * . * + + . . * + . + * . * +
For my friend xxxxxxx
THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR LOVE AND SUPPORT, LOVE ALWAYS, CAROLE XXXXX
You're A Real Angel
If an angel is someone who's so filled with love,
it's a gift that they constantly share,
If an angel is someone who looks out for others
and gives them a nudge here and there,
If an angel is someone who touches your life
with a heart that's both joyful and wise,
Then even though you don't have halo or wings,
you're an angel in human disguise.
xxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXXxxxXXX
never take someone for granted....hold special people close to your heart....because you might wake up one day and realise that you've lost a diamond while you was too busy collecting stones...send this to a special diamonds in your life we just did x
THINKING OF YOU ALL WITH LOVE
════╔══╗gone but
════║══║not forgotten
═╔══╝══╚══╗xxxxxxxx
═║════════║
═╚══╗══╔══╝
════║══║Put this on your
════║══║page if you know
════║══║someone who is in
════║══║heaven's garden.
have a lovely sunday all my love to you all linda .xxx
☾☆ ☾☆ ☾☆☾☆ ☾☾☆
Dear Lin.....
I'm sending you this Angel
with hopes for dreams all night.
She's bringing her Special Blanket
to wrap you in all tight.
It's made with Love and Stardust
and Magic through and through
to help you sleep very soundly
and awaken just like new.
So close your eyes and see her
floating near your side,
she's there to tuck you in, dear Friend,
for a dreamy sleep filled ride.
You are so precious and so loved
and God watches over you every day.
Just remember your Good Night Angel
is only a thought away.
Blessings to you...
☾☆ ☾☆ ☾☆☾☆ ☾☾☆
Angels speak most every day
Listen gently while they pray
Guiding you with special love
They were sent from God above
They will shelter you with care
They will hover everywhere
When it's time for you to sleep
That's when you will hear them speak
Saying words you want to hear
Feel their presence very near
Touched by love, without a doubt
An Angel's whisper singing out
Hear God's beauty as you rest
Music that is at it's best
Harmony from Heaven's sky
Angel words of love from high.
My Mum doesn't know I'm watching her
but I'm watching her just the same.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
at the mention of my name.
She says it sounds like music to her ears
and can be heard over a crowd.
I hear each tear fall on her face,
when my name is said aloud.
I watch her stumble through each day
as she wishes the day would end.
And I hear each tear fall on her face
as she talks of me with her friends.
But there are few who truly understand.
this I've heard her proclaim.
And I hear each tear fall on her face.
Will my Mum ever be the same?
I know that her smile can light up a sky,
But I don't see that smile today.
But I hear each tear fall on her face,
and her blue skies have turned to grey.
I send my mum hugs full of love
with the rays of the morning sun.
Then I won't hear a tear fall on her face,
for I shall erase them one by one.
Yes, my Mum doesn't know I'm watching her,
but I'm watching her just the same.
And when I hear a tear fall on her face
I softly whisper her name.
Love and God Bless
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ X GTS SPECIAL FRIENDS X ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Xx Pass this on to all your friends xX
If I could catch a rainbow
I would do it just for you
And share with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.
If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.
If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
Are impossible for me.
I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who's always there
I WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE
THAT HAS TAKEN THE TIME
TO LIGHT A CANDLE OR TRIBUTE
FOR MY VERY PRECIOUS SON
CHRISTOPHER THAT I
LOVE AND MISS SO MUCH
Thoughts Today Memories Forever
Angela(Christopher-John Rowe)Mum
FROM A MUM TO A MUM XXXX
XXX MY HEARTS WITH YOU ALLWAYS XXX
God, I know you gave your precious Son
To give us life with You.
But I didn’t want my son to leave,
Cause he was precious too.
We all are precious in your eyes
And all to you return.
I know my son will not come back,
And I still have much to learn.
Our time on earth is for learning,
And when our lessons are through,
Our spirit chooses the time we leave,
And we come back to you.
My precious son is with you,
And there will be a day,
That I too will leave this earthly place,
And you will light my way.
I know your arms will be open,
And I will have a smile,
To see my God and precious son,
I will then become Your child.
GOD BLESS YOU ALLWAYS WITH LOVE
XXX FROM CAROL STEWARTS MUM XXX
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