| Location | Hampshire |
| Age | 21 years |
| Cause of Death | Suicide |
| Date of Birth | 10/05/1978 |
| Date of Death | 18/04/2000 |
| Visitors | 4,898 since 06/08/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
Paul Michael Cowell , My lovely son took his own
life on 18th April 2000 ,22 days before his 22nd birthday after battling a drug problem. He had not
taken any for 6 months before he died but stopping left him with depressions and it was as he
appeared to be coming out of one of these that he took his life on prescription drugs. Paul wasn't a
lad That hung around in groups indeed he was small and looked younger than he was. We moved next
door to a couple with a son and daughter when paul was 8 years old . Paul knew their son since
playschool and he was only 4 months older than paul. They were friends but not best friends. When
they left school there was a leavers party but paul did not go because he was working in a hotel as
he wanted to eventually become a chef. The lad next door was killed that night chased onto a
railway and killed by a train he was only 16. I could not imagine the suffering so I used to go
round and clean there home, shop for them and cut their grass. I also just used to sit with his
mother while she cried. Paul was a sensitive soul and he had never been this close to a terrible
death of one so young and used to go round to see them too. He then began to change and eventually
i found out that the drugs were causing his behaviour and used to tell next door about it . They
just said it was attention seeking but he was so ill . A lot of the young friends used to go next
door and was encouraged by his parents. For 5 years We watched him go down to the depths of
despair and i used to talk to next door about him being so ill then one day paul actually asked me
for help after so long of being turned away from help because it was me that wanted help for him
not him. One day while next door paul came round and later as we left i noticed the mother slip
something in his hand and when we got outside i asked paul to show me what it was and he opened his
hand and laying in his palm were drugs. it was them all the time. they are convicted drug dealers
and No one had ever told me . But I learned this too late to save my son. We miss him , we miss his
lovely sunny smile and his caring ways . David his younger brother was only 15 at the time now has a
beautiful 3 year old daughter Emily who Paul would have loved and been so proud of. David has
struggled so hard with this loss as we all have including his Nan and Grandad who loved him so also
. Paul worked at a fruit farm right up until his death after leaving the catering business .
Sometimes Paul would miss the transport to take him to work and he would walk the 6 miles to get
there , sometimes his suffering was too much and he did not make it that day . His boss was
brilliant and understanding and also in our hearts we knew the drugs has caused so much damage .
paul really tried to make a fresh start . He is with his Great Nan who passed away 19 months before
Paul aged 85 years . She was so understanding about this problem and showed so much love and care
towards him I like to think that they are caring for each other whilst waiting for us. God bless Nan
and thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxx
REFLECTION
Another day for you to wonder,another day for you to mourn
It wasn't my intention to go before the coming dawn
My pain was deep within my heart and troubled head
It wasn't my intention to go without words said.
My frame of mind seemed normal, or so I heard them say
It wasn't my intention not to see another day
I did not mean to make you suffer or cause you so much pain
It wasn't my intention to never see you again.
Despair and confusion left my aching mind unsure
It wasn't my intention to suddenly close life's door
If only I could give you reasons and brush the tears away
It wasn't my intention to leave you and not stay.
I did not mean for you to grieve, now left alone to cry
It wasn't my intention to leave you, forever asking why ?
As the burdens of life's worries slowly ebb from my heart
It wasn't my intention to tear your soul apart.
Y Docherty
***PLEASE READ***
LIN SENDS EVERYONE HER APOLOGIES BUT RIGHT NOW SHE IS HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME.
YOU ARE ALL IN HER THOUGHTS AND SHE WILL BE BACK VERY SOON. THANK YOU. ****
Have A Good Weekend xXx GOD, *.*.*.OPENED * ...*.*. THE WINDOWS * * .* *.*.*.* OF HEAVEN. .*) .*) *.*.*LOOKED AT ME . (... *.*.*.**.*.*.*AND ASKED, ..*(...) .*.*.*.*.* **.*. *WHAT IS YOUR * ....(...) * . * . * .* *PRAYER * .*.. *....* (...) * .*FOR .. *..(...). *....* .*TODAY? .* ... *.... * *. * . * .**I . * . * . . * . *.*. * . **ANSWERED: __00000___00000 *.*. * .* .*GOD _0000000_0000000. * . * .*TAKE _0000 OOOO 00000. * . * .*CARE __0000000000000 * . ** .*OF THE ___00000000000 * . *. * . * .*PERSON _____0000000 * . *. * . ** *.*THAT _______000 * . *. * * * .*.*IS ________0* . * .. ** .. * .*.*READING . * .. ** .. * . * . * .* . *.*THIS . * . (.. *** /) * .*.*MESSAGE * . * ( ..(_)/ ) * * .BECAUSE * . * (_ /|.. _) . **.* THIS PERSON IS * . * . /___.. * . .* .*SO . * * . * . * *SPECIAL ♥Sometimes♥ ♥Sometimes when you cry no one sees your tears♥ ♥When your worried no one sees your pain♥ ♥When your happy no one sees your smile♥ ♥When your thinking no one is about♥ ♥When you want to talk no one is around♥ ♥When you need a special friend♥ ♥I’m always here to lend a had♥ ♥No matter were you are or how far♥ ♥just give me a call and i will be there♥ ♥Send this to someone special♥ ♥I JUST DID♥ Sending love to you and your Angels always xxxxxxxxxx
Have A Good Weekend xXx
GOD,
*.*.*.OPENED
* ...*.*. THE WINDOWS
* * .* *.*.*.* OF HEAVEN.
.*) .*) *.*.*LOOKED AT ME
. (... *.*.*.**.*.*.*AND ASKED,
..*(...) .*.*.*.*.* **.*. *WHAT IS YOUR
* ....(...) * . * . * .* *PRAYER
* .*.. *....* (...) * .*FOR
.. *..(...). *....* .*TODAY?
.* ... *.... * *. * . * .**I
. * . * . . * . *.*. * . **ANSWERED:
__00000___00000 *.*. * .* .*GOD
_0000000_0000000. * . * .*TAKE
_0000 OOOO 00000. * . * .*CARE
__0000000000000 * . ** .*OF THE
___00000000000 * . *. * . * .*PERSON
_____0000000 * . *. * . ** *.*THAT
_______000 * . *. * * * .*.*IS
________0* . * .. ** .. * .*.*READING
. * .. ** .. * . * . * .* . *.*THIS
. * . (.. *** /) * .*.*MESSAGE
* . * ( ..(_)/ ) * * .BECAUSE
* . * (_ /|.. _) . **.* THIS PERSON IS
* . * . /___.. * . .* .*SO
. * * . * . * *SPECIAL
♥Sometimes♥
♥Sometimes when you cry no one sees your tears♥
♥When your worried no one sees your pain♥
♥When your happy no one sees your smile♥
♥When your thinking no one is about♥
♥When you want to talk no one is around♥
♥When you need a special friend♥
♥I’m always here to lend a had♥
♥No matter were you are or how far♥
♥just give me a call and i will be there♥
♥Send this to someone special♥
♥I JUST DID♥
Sending love to you and your Angels always xxxxxxxxxx
For Angel Paul xxx
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
Your presence we miss,
Your memory we treasure,
Loving you always,
Forgetting you never.
No farewell words were spoken,
No time to say goodbye,
You were gone before we knew it,
And only God can tell us why.
♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
♥Sometimes♥
♥Sometimes when you cry noone sees your tears♥
♥When your worried noone sees your pain♥
♥When your happy noone sees your smile♥
♥When your thinking noone nos what about♥
♥When you want to talk noone is around♥
♥When you need a special friend♥
♥Im always here to lend a had♥
♥No matter were you are or how far♥
♥just give me a call and i will be there♥
♥Send this to someone special♥
♥I JUST DID♥
MY HEARTS WITH YOU ALLWAYS XXX GOD BLESS YOU LOVE CAROL QUINN STEWART MUM XXX
MY HEARTS WITH YOU ALLWAYS XX
)....)..... ... ..
..............)......--.......--....(.......... .
............./......(o..._...o)....\..........
.............\.........(..0..)......./......... .
..........__.`.-._...'='.._.-.�.__.......
......./.......'#.'#.,.--.,.#'.#.'....\....
.......\__))..........'#'......... ((__/.....
__xxxxxxxxxxx______xxxxxxxxxx
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SENDING MY LOVE ALLWAYS LOVE CAROL STEWARTS MUM XXX
how quickly can you miss someone
a week an hour a day
i started missing you
the minute you went away xxx
A SPECIAL FRIEND X
.☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * .☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆
If u love me as a friend u'll read the whole thing. What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness? What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend. dont ever leave the one u love for the one u like, because the one u like will leave u for the one they love.
If you wake up in a red room with no windows and doors, DON'T panic.. you're just in my heart!!! Send this to all the friends you want to keep forever...
.☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * .☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆
TO A FRIEND FROM A FRIEND
A SPECIAL FRIEND X
.☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * .☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆
If u love me as a friend u'll read the whole thing. What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness? What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend. dont ever leave the one u love for the one u like, because the one u like will leave u for the one they love.
If you wake up in a red room with no windows and doors, DON'T panic.. you're just in my heart!!! Send this to all the friends you want to keep forever...
.☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * .☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆
SENDING ALL MY LOVE ALLWAYS LOVE CAROL STEWART MUM XXX
To My Friend
.☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * .☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆
If you love me as a friend you'll read the whole thing. What would you do if for every moment you were truly happy there would be 10 moments of sadness? What would you do if your best friend died tomorrow and you never got to tell them how you felt? So, I just wanted to say, even if I never talk to you again in my life, you are special to me and you have made a difference in my life. I look up to you, respect you, and truly cherish you. Send this to all your friends, no matter how often you talk, or how close you are, and send it to the person who sent it to you. Let old friends know you haven't forgotten them, and tell new friends you never will. Remember, everyone needs a friend. dont ever leave the one you love for the one you like, because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.
If you wake up in a red room with no windows and doors, DON'T panic.. you're just in my heart!!! Send this to all the friends you want to keep forever...LOVE FOREVER XXX ELSIE XXX
.☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆ * .☆ * ☆ * ☆ * ☆ *☆ * ☆
. * + * * + . *+. . . . . . . . . . .*.
. . . . .. . . . . .*** . . * . . *****
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. . . . . . . . . .****. . . .** . . . ******
. . . . . . . . . ***** . . . .**.*. . . . . **
. . . . . . . . .*****. . . . . **. . . . . . *.**
. . . . . . . .*****. . . . . .*. . . . . . *
. . . . . . . .******. . . . .*. . . . . *
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. . . . . . . . .*********. . . . . *
. . . . . . . . . .******* . ***
*******. . . . . . . . .**
.*******. . . . . . . . *
. ******. . . . . . . . * *
. .***. . *. . . . . . .**
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. . . . .****.*. . . .*
. . . *******. .*. .*
. . .*******. . . *.
. . .*****. . . . *
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fяιєи∂ѕ αяє ℓιкє fℓσωєяѕ
єαн υиιqυє ιи тнєιя σωи ωαу,
ρυт тнєм αℓℓ тσgєтнєя
ωнαт α ωσи∂єяfυℓ вσυqυєт ~~
ѕσмє αяє яєαℓℓу вяιℓℓιαит
fυℓℓ σf ℓιgнт ѕнαяρ αи∂ ℓєαя,
ωнιℓє σтнєяѕ αяє мσяє ѕυв∂υє∂
тσ вσтн уσυ αи α∂нєяє ~~
уσυ αяє α fℓσωєя ιи му gαя∂єи
тнαт мαкєѕ υρ му вσυqυєт,
му fяιєи∂ѕ уσυ αℓℓ мαкє
α νєяу ιмρяєѕѕινє ∂ιѕρℓαу ~~
ONE WISH FOR ALL MUM S XXX
If I could have one wish ♥
♥ If i could wish upon a star ♥
♥ I would wish for you back here ♥
♥ I know you're happy where you are ♥
♥ But i miss you and want you near ♥
♥ Although i see you everyday ♥
♥ In my thoughts and in my dreams ♥
♥ I miss you more than words can say ♥
♥ It just gets worse, it seems ♥
♥ I try to be strong for others around ♥
♥ But all i want to do is cry ♥
♥ I just sit for hours by myself ♥
♥ And ask the question 'Why'? ♥
♥ It's the strongest pain I've ever felt ♥
♥ I don't think I could describe it ♥
♥ Although I try, I do my best ♥
♥ I don't think that I can hide it ♥
♥ My life will never be the same ♥
♥ That's why it's hard to bear ♥
♥ Because since the day you left us ♥
♥ I think that life's not fair ♥
♥ Some things seem not to matter now ♥
♥ Even things that mattered before ♥
♥ You have no idea what I would give up ♥
♥ To make this pain less sore ♥
♥ People say we'll meet again ♥
♥ And yeah I know that's true ♥
♥ But I wish it didn't have to be this way ♥
♥ Because you know how much I miss you ♥
♥ I love you with all my heart and soul ♥
♥ And there's one thing you need to know ♥
♥ There's not one person in the human race ♥
♥ That could ever take your place ♥
IF ONLY ALL MUMS COULD HAVE ONE WISH XXX
OUR CHILDREN GONE TO SOON XXX
WE ALLWAYS LOVE THEM XXX
MY HEARTS WITH YOU ALLWAYS LIN XXX
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