| Location | Hampshire |
| Age | 21 years |
| Cause of Death | Suicide |
| Date of Birth | 10/05/1978 |
| Date of Death | 18/04/2000 |
| Visitors | 4,901 since 06/08/2008 |
| Creator | |
| Helpers |
Paul Michael Cowell , My lovely son took his own
life on 18th April 2000 ,22 days before his 22nd birthday after battling a drug problem. He had not
taken any for 6 months before he died but stopping left him with depressions and it was as he
appeared to be coming out of one of these that he took his life on prescription drugs. Paul wasn't a
lad That hung around in groups indeed he was small and looked younger than he was. We moved next
door to a couple with a son and daughter when paul was 8 years old . Paul knew their son since
playschool and he was only 4 months older than paul. They were friends but not best friends. When
they left school there was a leavers party but paul did not go because he was working in a hotel as
he wanted to eventually become a chef. The lad next door was killed that night chased onto a
railway and killed by a train he was only 16. I could not imagine the suffering so I used to go
round and clean there home, shop for them and cut their grass. I also just used to sit with his
mother while she cried. Paul was a sensitive soul and he had never been this close to a terrible
death of one so young and used to go round to see them too. He then began to change and eventually
i found out that the drugs were causing his behaviour and used to tell next door about it . They
just said it was attention seeking but he was so ill . A lot of the young friends used to go next
door and was encouraged by his parents. For 5 years We watched him go down to the depths of
despair and i used to talk to next door about him being so ill then one day paul actually asked me
for help after so long of being turned away from help because it was me that wanted help for him
not him. One day while next door paul came round and later as we left i noticed the mother slip
something in his hand and when we got outside i asked paul to show me what it was and he opened his
hand and laying in his palm were drugs. it was them all the time. they are convicted drug dealers
and No one had ever told me . But I learned this too late to save my son. We miss him , we miss his
lovely sunny smile and his caring ways . David his younger brother was only 15 at the time now has a
beautiful 3 year old daughter Emily who Paul would have loved and been so proud of. David has
struggled so hard with this loss as we all have including his Nan and Grandad who loved him so also
. Paul worked at a fruit farm right up until his death after leaving the catering business .
Sometimes Paul would miss the transport to take him to work and he would walk the 6 miles to get
there , sometimes his suffering was too much and he did not make it that day . His boss was
brilliant and understanding and also in our hearts we knew the drugs has caused so much damage .
paul really tried to make a fresh start . He is with his Great Nan who passed away 19 months before
Paul aged 85 years . She was so understanding about this problem and showed so much love and care
towards him I like to think that they are caring for each other whilst waiting for us. God bless Nan
and thank you xxxxxxxxxxxxx
REFLECTION
Another day for you to wonder,another day for you to mourn
It wasn't my intention to go before the coming dawn
My pain was deep within my heart and troubled head
It wasn't my intention to go without words said.
My frame of mind seemed normal, or so I heard them say
It wasn't my intention not to see another day
I did not mean to make you suffer or cause you so much pain
It wasn't my intention to never see you again.
Despair and confusion left my aching mind unsure
It wasn't my intention to suddenly close life's door
If only I could give you reasons and brush the tears away
It wasn't my intention to leave you and not stay.
I did not mean for you to grieve, now left alone to cry
It wasn't my intention to leave you, forever asking why ?
As the burdens of life's worries slowly ebb from my heart
It wasn't my intention to tear your soul apart.
Y Docherty
***PLEASE READ***
LIN SENDS EVERYONE HER APOLOGIES BUT RIGHT NOW SHE IS HAVING A DIFFICULT TIME.
YOU ARE ALL IN HER THOUGHTS AND SHE WILL BE BACK VERY SOON. THANK YOU. ****
FOR MY SOECIAL FRIEND XXX
SAND AND STONE
TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING
THROUGH THE DESERT
DURING SOME POINT OF THE
JOURNEY, THEY HAD AN
ARGUMENT; AND ONE FRIEND
SLAPPED THE OTHER ONE
IN THE FACE
THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED
WAS HURT, BUT WITHOUT
SAYING ANYTHING,
WROTE IN THE SAND
'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE'
THEY KEPT ON WALKING,
UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,
WHERE THEY DECIDED
TO TAKE A BATH
THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN
SLAPPED GOT STUCK IN THE
MIRE! AND STARTED DROWNING,
BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.
AFTER HE RECOVERED FROM
THE NEAR DROWNING,
HE WROTE ON A STONE:
'TODAY MY BEST FRIEND
SAVED MY LIFE'
THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED
AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND
ASKED HIM, 'AFTER I HURT YOU,
YOU WROTE IN THE SAND AND NOW,
YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?'
THE FRIEND REPLIED
'WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US
WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN
IN SAND, WHERE WINDS OF
FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.
BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES
SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,
WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE
WHERE NO WIND
CAN EVER ERASE IT'
LEARN TO WRITE
YOUR HURTS IN
THE SAND AND TO
CARVE YOUR
BENEFITS IN STONE.
THEY SAY IT TAKES A
MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON,
AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM,
A DAY TO LOVE THEM,
BUT THEN
AN ENTIRE LIFE
TO FORGET THEM.
SEND THIS TO
THE PEOPLE YOU'LL NEVER
FORGET.
I JUST DID.
TAKE THE TIME TO LIVE!
DO NOT VALUE THE THINGS
YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE, BUT VALUE
WHO YOU HAVE IN YOUR LIFE!
AND IF I HAPPEN TO GET IT BACK,
THEN I KNOW MY PLACE IN YOUR LIFE
MY HEARTS WITH YOU ALLWAYS LOVE CAROL
STEWART QUINN MUM XXX
Thank You My Friend
Thanks to you for who you are,
However far away.
And for the words you send to me,
So kind in what you say.
Knowing simply that you're there,
Yet thinking much of me.
Opens up my happiness,
When I read what you write to me.
* * * * * * *
Just Letting You Know
You Mean The World To Me
Love and Best Wishes xxx Elsie xxx
luv always michelle ( karen hadaways mum xx
with love
Have a lovely weekend.
xxx
____xxxxxxxxxx______ xxxxxxxxxxx
___xxx PASS xxxxxx___x xxxxxxxxxxxx
___xxxxxxxxxxxxxx_xx xxxxxxxxxxxx
___xxxxxxx THIS xxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxxx
____xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxxxx
_____xxxxxxxxx HEART x xxxxxxxxxxx
______xxxxxxxxxxxxxx xxxxxxxxx
_________xxxx TO xxxxx xxxxxxx
___________xxxxxxxxx xxxx
_____________xxxxx Allxx
______________xxxxxx
________THE x
_______________xxx
_______FRIENDS__xx
_____________x
_YOU_______x
_________xx
___CARE_xx
_____xxxx
__x ABOUT x
___xxxxxxx
____xx THE xxx
______xxxxxxxx
_MOST _xxxxxxxx
_________xxxxxxx
_________xxxxxxx
________xxxxxx
_____xxxxxxx
♥;;♥ ♥;;♥♥;;♥ ♥;;♥;;♥;;♥ ♥;;♥;;♥;;♥
If I’d never known you,
I wouldn’t feel the pain
Of losing you my darling son;
I wouldn’t feel insane.
But if I’d never known you,
I wouldn’t know the pleasure
Of joy and love’s warm gifts
And memories to treasure.
Now moving on with life,
I try and mask the pain,
Questioning why I lost you
Wishing you were here again.
♥;;♥ ♥;;♥♥;;♥ ♥;;♥;;♥;;♥ ♥;;♥;;♥;;♥
_____****__________* **** ______
___***____***____*** __ *** ____
__***________****___ _____***___
_***__________**____ ______***__
_***________________ ______***__
_***_________*IM*___ ______***__
__***_____*THINKING* _____***___
___***_______*OF*___ ____***____
____***_____*YOU*___ ___***_____
______***____♥ ♥ ♥ _____***______
________***_________ ***________
__________***_____** *__________
___________***___*** ___________
____________***_***_ ___________
______________***___ ___________
_______________*____ ___________
A SPECIAL FRIEND X
*•.?(*•.? ?.•*?)?.•*?
?•* MY FRIEND *•?
?.•*(?.•*? `*•.?)`*•.?
God must have known there would be times
We'd need a word of cheer
Someone to praise a triumph
Or brush away a tear.
He must have known we'd need to share
The joy of 'little things'
In order to appreciate
The happiness life brings.
I think he knew our troubled hearts
Would sometimes throb with pain
At trials and misfortunes
Or some goals we can't attain.
He knew we'd need the comfort
Of an understanding heart
To give us strength and courage
To make a fresh, new start.
He knew we'd need companionship
Unselfish...lasting. ..true,
And so God answered the heart's great need
With CHERISHED GTS FRIENDS....like you.
____________$$$__$_$ $$$ ___________
____________$$__$$__ ___$ __________
___________$$$_$__$_ ____$ _________
__________$$$$_____$ $___$$$$$$ ____
_________$$$$$______ $$_$______$$ __
________$$$$$_______ $$________$$__
________$$$$$_______ $_______$ _____
________$$$$$$_____$ _______$ ______
_________$$$$$$____$ ______$ _______
__________$$$$$$$$__ _____$ ________
__$$$_________$$$$$$ $_$$ __________
$$$$$$$__________$$ _______________
_$$$$$$$_________$ ________________
__$$$$$$_________$_$ ______________
___$$$___$_______$$ _______________
___________$_____$__ $ _____________
_______$$$$_$___$ _________________
_____$$$$$$__$_$$ _________________
____$$$$$$$___$$ __________________
____$$$$$______$ __________________
____$$_________$ __________________
_____$_________$ __________________
_____________$_$ __________________
______________$$ __________________
______________$ ___________________
______________$ ___________________
______________$ ___________________
______________$ ___________________
all my love to you all
linda davies .xxx
Try to collect 20
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HUG WAR!
Pass this hug to all of
your friends and back
to me, see how many
you get back!xxxx
with love linda.xxx
Until the day we meet again, the essence of your light,
Will warm the coldest moment and cover us at night.
Your love will give us strength dear son; your life will give us hope,
When grief begins to swallow us, your light will help us cope.
Your life was such a treasure we’ll cherish till we die
And join you in our heavenly home, just beyond the sky.
And there dear son, someday, you and our family
Will smile and laugh in Heaven for all eternity.
As you gaze upon the angels and sit at Jesus’ feet,
Know we’ll still be loving you until the day we meet.
And though we miss you son, we’ll never be apart,
You’re in our every memory and buried in our hearts.
Love and God Bless
WITH LOVE FROM CAROL; STEWARTS MUM XXX
Give this teddy bear ♥
to every person u care about.
Try to collect 20
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HUG WAR!
Pass this hug to all of
your friends and back
to me, see how many
you get back!
always and forever in my thoughts
My life goes on without you
But things are not the same,
I cannot hide the heart ache
when someone speaks your name
I think about you always
And talk about you too
I will always have our memories
yet I wish I still had you
But out of our lives you may have gone
in our hearts you will forever live on.
all my love to you as always.
love linda .xxx
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